A Little Kid Sees a Pirate on the Beach... and walks up to him. The pirate has a peg leg, a hook, and an eye patch. Intrigued, the kid asks, ""how come you've got that peg for a foot?"" The pirate responds, ""Aye, now that's a story. I was battlin' another ship with me crew, and a cannon ball flew straight toward me. Blew everythin' past me ankle clean off!"" ""Wow, "" the kid says. ""What about your hook for a hand?"" ""Same day as me leg, actually. Shortly after the cannon ball hit, a stray bu…

An old Persian joke Long ago, there lived a poor peasant in the Persian Empire. The man had, some years before, lost his luck. His wife died, his meager wealth ebbed further away, and the poor peasant was on the verge of starvation. Realizing his life was growing grim, he decided that he would find his luck out there in the world and take it back. Packing what little belongings he had, the man set out on a quest to find his missing luck. As he walked through a large, open plain, he stumbled upon…

A little boy with a speech impediment goes trick or treating as a pirate... He gets to the first house and an old lady answers the door. She says, ""Well aren't you cute. Who are you dressed as?"" He replies, ""I'm a birate! I got my barrot, my bword and my batch!"" , pointing to the stuffed parrot on his shoulder, waving his sword and pointing to his eye patch respectively. The old lady throws some candy in his bag and wishes him a good night. He heads to the next house. A man answers. ""Trick …

Benny and the Urn - A shaggy dog story with a moral. Here's my embellished version of a joke I learned when I was a kid. I swear to god there's no loch ness monster. **Benny and the Urn** Once upon a time a man named Benny was living in ancient Mesopotamia. A miner by trade, one day he discovered a secret cavern filled with jewels, gold, and piled high with priceless artifacts. The floor was covered with golden jars, urns that were formed from solid gold. They were each the size of a man's heart…