The police are taking me downtown for an interview and I didn't even apply for the job.

Someone stole all the toilets from the police station downtown. The cops have nothing to go on.

Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.

Justin Bieber's home has now been thoroughly searched, but police have uncovered no evidence of talent.