Parish priest A priest was being honoured at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and give a little speech at the dinner. He was delayed, so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited. ""I got my first impression of the parish from the first confession I heard here. I thought I had been assigned to a terrible place. The very first person who entered my confessional told…

Dave has an awesome job Dave was commissioned to drive the Pope to the airport within the hour. Unfortunately, being a new driver, he got lost. ""It's all right, my son. I used to drive these streets in my youth. We'll get there in time."" The Pope took the wheel with Dave sitting in the back seat. He drove like an expert, taking sharp turns easily. The Pope, not wanting to be late for his flight, didn't realize how fast he was going. Soon the red and blue lights flashed behind him. ""It will be…

A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day carrying a bag of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the bank to open a savings account because, ""It's a lot of money!"" After much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the president's office(the customer is always right!) The bank president then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied, ""$165,000!"" and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk. The president was of cou…

Old lady's wager A little old lady walks into the Bank of America with a bag of money. She insists that she must speak with the president of the bank. She tells the bank president that she has accumulated several hundred thousand dollars over the years and would like to open a trust in the bank. Since he is free at the time and does not want to decline an old woman, the president agrees to see her. The president is curious, so he asks her, ""Where did you get all this money?"" The old lady repli…