Shovels, Asses and Camels Over five thousand years ago, Moses said to the children of Israel, ""Pick up your shovels, mount your asses and camels, and I will lead you to the Promised Land."" Nearly 75 years ago, (when Welfare was introduced) Roosevelt said, ""Lay down your shovels, sit on your asses, and light up a Camel, this is the Promised Land."" Today, Congress has stolen your shovel, taxed your asses, raised the price of Camels and mortgaged the Promised land! I was so depressed last night…

Moses is walking down the mountain with the ten commandments... ... as he looks over them he thinks this is just too much to ask a society to do all at once. He has a plan! Just go around the world and give out one commandment at a time. So he travels to France. ""Hello people of France, I want to give you a commandment from God."" The French say ""Okay we're listening."" Moses replies ""Thou shall not commit adultery!"" The French look at him and say ""It's okay we don't need a commandment righ…

""I already know Russian"" A KGB officer is walking in the park and he sees and old Jewish man reading a book. The KGB says ""What are you reading old man?"" The old man says ""I am trying to teach myself Hebrew."" KGB says ""Why are you trying to learn Hebrew? It takes years to get a visa for Israel. You would die before the paperwork got done."" ""I am learning Hebrew so that when I die and go to Heaven I will be able to speak to Abraham and Moses. Hebrew is the language they speak in Heaven."…

How did Moses make his tea. Hebrew it. This is not a joke Israel.