A new York Divorce Lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him ""What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?"" The Lawyer thought a moment then said ""A week ago I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street."" Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the record and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that this was true. Saint Peter said ""Well that's fine but it's not really quite enough to get you into Heaven."" The Lawyer said ""Wait Wait! There's mor…

The engineer that went to hell. One day an engineer died and went to hell. He was a good Christian man who never sinned but Saint Peter made a mistake and accidentally sent him to hell. In hell the engineer thought to himself, "gee, it sure is hot in here", and so he built some air-conditioning. Then he thought, "I sure am thirsty", and built a brewery and started making beer. Later God and Saint Peter were reviewing the list of people who had died recently and God noticed that Peter had …

When Bill Gates died, he went up to Heaven, where Saint Peter showed him to his house, a beautiful 20 room house, with grounds and a tennis court. Bill Gates was pleased, and spent many months enjoying the amenities of Heaven. One day, he was enjoying one of Heaven's many fine parks, when he ran into a man dressed in a fine tailored suit. "That is a nice suit, my friend," said Gates. "Where did you get it?" "Actually," the man replied, "I was given a hundred of these when I got here. I've been t…

A zebra meets God. All his life the zebra always wondered whether he was a black zebra with white stripes, or a white zebra with black stripes. He thought about this often but never came to an answer. Well, one day while he was out and about, he was shot by a hunter. When he arrived to heaven, he was face to face with Saint Peter. Realizing where he was, the zebra asked Saint Peter if he could as God a question. Before he knew it, the zebra was face to face with God. ""What is the question you w…