If a vampire is also a doctor, an apple is as effective as garlic

Dentist: How often do you floss? Dracula: Every day Dentist: Your gums are covered in blood. Dracula: Oh...I mean never. I never floss.

Hi, I'd like to order a baby "Excuse me?" It says here you deliver babies? "Sir this is a hospital" [vampire quickly hangs up phone]

Halloween puns and bad one-liners Throw em at me! > What do ghosts and monsters drink after scaring people? Ghoul-Aid > What's a ghosts favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet > Why did Dracula go to the doctor? Because he was coffin