If a vampire is also a doctor, an apple is as effective as garlic

Hi, I'd like to order a baby "Excuse me?" It says here you deliver babies? "Sir this is a hospital" [vampire quickly hangs up phone]

Halloween puns and bad one-liners Throw em at me! > What do ghosts and monsters drink after scaring people? Ghoul-Aid > What's a ghosts favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet > Why did Dracula go to the doctor? Because he was coffin

I think that I've been bitten by a vampire... Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire. Doctor: Drink this glass of water. Patient: Will it make me better? Doctor: No, I but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.