DOCTOR: Push again, the baby is- MOTHER: IS SOMETHING WRONG? DOCTOR: [holding phone] No, I just caught a Jigglypuff up in there.

Pink Ping Pong Balls A wealthy man had a little boy. For some reason, his first words were ""ping pong ball"". When the boy was old enough to speak, and understand birthdays and gifts and such (about three years old), he asked the boy ""So son, what would you like for your birthday this year?"" The boy said, ""Daddy, I would like a pink ping pong ball."" Father said ""That's it? No trucks, no trains no puzzles?"" The boy said ""No, just a pink ping pong ball. So the father gets him the pink ping…

I went to the doctor and he said you have the blood pressure of a 14 year old kid I said great. He said, not so great, a 14 year old *American* child. You got four months to live. Kids are so fat these days the first letters they learn in the alphabet are not ABC, it's KFC Kids are so fat these days they use cheat codes to play Pokemon Go Kids are so fat these days the reason why they use smart phone to play music is because they think a Sony Walkman must involve exercise. Kids are so fat these …

""My wife is pregnant"" A man spoke frantically into the phone ""My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"" ""Is this her first child?"" the doctor asked. ""No, you idiot!"" the man shouted. ""This is her husband!""