Jesus is walking around in heaven one day... Jesus is walking around in heaven one day, checking in on everybody to make sure they're enjoying the place. He checks in with Mother Teresa and sure enough, there she is in the middle of a party having a grand time with all her friends. So Jesus moves on. He checks in on Martin Luther next and he's having a great time with all his loved ones around the dinner table. Satisfied, Jesus moves on to the next one. On his way to see John the Baptist, Jesus …

It's About Time A few weeks? after the death of my father-in-law, I found my seven-year-old son crying in bed. His grandmother had died the previous year, and he was taking it all very hard. ""You know, Kyle,"" I said, ""when we die, we'll get to see Grandma and Grandpa again in heaven."" With tears spilling down his face, Kyle cried, ""That's easy for you to say. You don't have that long!""

An elderly priest was found in the Vatican library weeping inconsolably... He had ancient manuscripts spread out in front of him. Some curators walked up to him and said ""What is the matter, Father?"" Between sobs, he replied: ""Some bastard dropped the 'R'. It was supposed to say CELEBRATE!""

Princess Diana and Mother Theresa are in Heaven when Mother Theresa notices that Princess Diana has a bigger halo than she does. She asks God, ""Why does the Princess Diana get a bigger halo than me, she was a great person but I helped so many more people. I should at least have the same size halo as her"" God replies, ""That's not a halo, it's a steering wheel""