Mother Theresa goes to heaven.... ...she's walking around and sees so many famous people. She runs into princess Diana and cant help but notice that Dianas halo is bigger than hers. Mother Theresa storms out and finds god... ""Why is princess Diana's halo larger than mine...I gave my life to you..lived the life you told me.to live...all she did is married into a royal family..."" God calms her down and giggles That's not a halo...that's a steering wheel...

Mother Theresa looks down into hell from heaven... She sees them getting ready for dinner. It's a feast, beef Wellington, shrimp, twice baked potatoes, wine, champagne, and a million different desserts. Just then God came by and asked, ""Are you hungry? I'm making tuna fish sandwiches if you'd like one."" MT: ""Um, ok, sure."" The next day she does the same thing. Another incredible meal is being laid out. Lobster Newburg, all sorts of game, and even bananas Foster. She had always wondered what …

A man died and went to heaven. At the pearly gate, the man saw an enormous wall covered with clocks. He asked St. Peter, what's with the clocks? St. Peter explained that everyone was assigned a clock, and each time they told a lie, the clock would move ahead one minute. The man saw a clock at straight up 12:00. He asked whose clock that was. St. Peter replied, Mother Theresa, she never told a lie. Another clock showed 12:02. He was told it belonged to Abe Lincoln. The man asked, where's Hillary'…

The Queen of England dies and goes to heaven. Naturally, she spends her first few hours there catching up with all of her dead friends and family members. Eventually, she sees Princess Diana, and they start chatting, but Queen Elizabeth is clearly distracted. Eventually, she finally asks, "Diana, dear, why is it that nobody else here has a halo except for you?" A furious Diana responds, "That's a steering wheel, bitch!"