After the elections the new President goes to visit Russia... ... in order to foster good will. As a traditional show of respect the Russians perform a 21-gun salute. A few blocks away a little old babushka walking down the street is startled by the great noise and asks a young man passing by ""What is happening? Is this the start of World War III?"" The young man laughs and answer ""No, nothing like that. The American President has come to Russia."" Satisfied with the answer the old woman conti…

A doctor from U.K. says: ""In U.K. the medicine is so advanced that we cut off a man's hand; we put them into another man, and in 6 weeks he is looking for work."" The German doctor comments:""That's nothing, in Germany we take part of the brain out of a person; we put it into another person's head, and in 4 weeks he is looking for work."" A Russian doctor says:""That's nothing either. In Russia we take out half of the heart from a person; we put it into another person's chest, and in 2 weeks he…

So, the Presidential Election is only a little over weeks away and I still haven't decided... ...if I should learn Russian, Chinese, Arabic or Spanish Because we will probably have a war against Russia and lose, or get economically crushed by China, or get sold out to the Arabs, or get overran by Mexicans.

So, tensions with Russia flair up... ... And the Cold War reignites. With both the USA and Russia standing on the brink of total nuclear annihilation, the leaders decide to meet. Both agree that nothing on earth is worth an apocalypse, so they decide to end things once and for all; with a winner-takes-all dogfight. Both sides have 5 years to breed a dog, and on the set date of the fight, a single uncontested world power will emerge. The Russians immediately find the biggest and meanest Rottweile…