I stopped at the bar after work the other day... ...and there were three doctors at a table slamming drinks. They were bragging about their best surgeries ever. The first doctor said listen up. "One time a guy came in who was in a terrible wood cutting accident. The guy lost his right arm, but I sewed him up in 3 hours. Now he's is a major league pitcher." The second doctor said, "One time I was working in the ER and this dude came in who lost his leg in a farming accident. I sewed him up in 2 hours and now he's is an Olympic runner." The last doctor said, "That ain't nothing. One time my wife and I were heading to Walmart and the car in front of us slid off the road and into a cow pasture. The dude went through the front windshield and split his head wide open and his brains were all over the place. I sprung into action and scooped up all the brains and all the cow patties and shoved it right back in his head. I sowed him up in less than 45 minutes, and now he is the president of the United States of America."