I was in the queue buying dog food when this woman asks me if I have a dog I thought "well isn't it obvious?" but decided to string her along "No. I'm actually back on the dog food diet. These snacks contain all the vitamins, proteins, minerals, folic acid, that you need to survive. Plus they're small so they fit in your pocket for whenever you're hungry. I lost 50 pounds while on it. This time I have to be careful, though. Last time I ended up in the ER ..." She gives me that look "well obviously because there's incompatibilities between the human digestive system and that of a dog's, right?" "... I saw a poodle, I leaned forward to smell its arse and fell to the side onto the road and got hit by a truck"