Original Jokes. A man is speeding down the beach road in Nags Head, NC when a seagull smashes into his windshield. He gets it stuck in the wiper blades trying to get it off, and eventually a cop comes up behind him and hits the cherries and berries. At that moment the seagull flips off the guy's car and smashes into the cop's windshield. The guy and the cop pull over and the cop writes him two tickets, one for speeding and one for flipping the bird. A woman is pumping gas, and she accidentally s…

I was in the queue buying dog food when this woman asks me if I have a dog I thought "well isn't it obvious?" but decided to string her along "No. I'm actually back on the dog food diet. These snacks contain all the vitamins, proteins, minerals, folic acid, that you need to survive. Plus they're small so they fit in your pocket for whenever you're hungry. I lost 50 pounds while on it. This time I have to be careful, though. Last time I ended up in the ER ..." She gives me that look "well obv…

*shaves 'I Dogs' into my chest hair for the Westminster Dog Show but just as I take my shirt off a car full of cats rolls up*

Texting while driving: Bad. Wrestling a shark while driving: STILL LEGAL! WOOHOOO!!!