Sure, Canada, feel safe now while US is just after oil. Wait 'til we run low on beer, ice, hockey players & f'd up ways to pronounce words.

An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scot are all sitting at a bar having a pint Three flies drop from above and one lands in each of their drinks. The Englishman says ""Gross!"" and dumps his beer out. The Irishman mumbles ""eh"" as he picks the fly out and proceeds to drink his beer. The Scot grabs the fly from his glass and in a thick Scottish accent says ""Spit it out you bastard!"".

Snowboarders will Understand Four snowboarders - a German, a Swiss, an Australian, and a Canadian - are taking a chairlift up a mountain. The German boarder pulls out a bottle of beer from his jacket, drinks it, and tosses the empty over the side. ""Ah,"" he sighs. ""We have so much beer in Germany!"" Next the Swiss boarder pulls out a bar of chocolate from his jacket, eats it, and drops the wrapper over the side. ""Mmm,"" he sighs, ""we have so much chocolate in Switzerland!"" So the Australian…

A Scot walks into a bar An old Scot asks the bar person for a pint of Tennant's; he receives it and looks at it thoughtfully. 'Do you think you can fit a wee dram of whisky in there?' he says. 'Yes, I think I can', says the bar person, knowingly. Says the old Scot: 'THEN FILL IT TO THE BRIM WITH TENNANT'S, YA BINT!''