Tiger Woods and Stevie Wonder are in a bar. Tiger turns to Stevie and says, "How's the singing career going?" Stevie replies, "Not too bad. How's the golf?" Woods replies, "Not too bad, I've had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that right now." Stevie says, "I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it. Then, the next time I play, it seems to be all right." Incredulous, Tiger says, "You play GOLF?" Stevie says, "Yes…

A guy and his dog go into a bar... ...and the guy sits down at the bar. He orders a beer and drinks it, then orders another. The dog sits patiently at his feet. When it comes time for the guy to pay, he looks the barman in the eye and says, ""I'm afraid I don't have any money."" The barman is about to kick this joker's ass when the guy says, ""But I have something even better. I have a magical dog. He can talk."" This is a new one on the barman, and although he's skeptical, he decides to give th…

Jesus and Moses are playing golf. After teeing off, Jesus asks Moses which club he should use to clear the water hazard and Moses says, ""Use your 4 iron"". Jesus says, ""No, Tiger Woods would use a 6 iron"". His shots goes into the water. Jesus walks out onto the water to find his ball and is seen by another golfer who says to Moses, ""Look at that guy. Who does he think he is, Jesus Christ?"" Moses says, ""He is Jesus Christ, he THINKS he's Tiger Woods.""

Super-Diagnostic Machine Leroy and Roscoe are sitting around the lunch table in the break room when Roscoe starts complaining about his elbow. ""I reckon Imma hafta go down to the doc and have him check this thang out."" Leroy says, ""Naw, don't waste yur money. Wal-Mart has this new contrapshun whur you can go and put a piss sample in this here machine and it'll tell ya what's wrong with ya. Givver a shot befer you go see ya doc."" Roscoe was a bit skeptical, but decided it was worth it to save…