Super-Diagnostic Machine Leroy and Roscoe are sitting around the lunch table in the break room when Roscoe starts complaining about his elbow. ""I reckon Imma hafta go down to the doc and have him check this thang out."" Leroy says, ""Naw, don't waste yur money. Wal-Mart has this new contrapshun whur you can go and put a piss sample in this here machine and it'll tell ya what's wrong with ya. Givver a shot befer you go see ya doc."" Roscoe was a bit skeptical, but decided it was worth it to save the money. He takes a urine sample down to Wal-Mart, puts it in the machine, and watches it go to work. The machine lights up, starts making beeping noises, and out pops a small piece of receipt paper which reads, ""You have tennis elbow. Take two tylenol a day for a week and refrain from heavy lifting."" Roscoe couldn't believe how amazing this new technology was, so he decided he would mess with the machine and see what happened. He went out to his yard, found some fresh dog shit, got a urine sample from his daughter and his wife, jerked off into a bowl, mixed it all together, and took the concoction down to Wal-Mart to put it in the machine. The machine lights up, starts making beeping noises, and out pops a large piece of receipt paper, which reads......... ""Your dog has worms and needs to be treated by a vet immediately. You daughter has a meth addiction and needs to be put in rehab. Your wife is pregnant with twins, and they're not yours. And if you don't quit jerking off, you're never going to get rid of that tennis elbow.""