Then god said, "Let there be light," and there was light and he regretted making Adam in the dark because he gave him Owen Wilson's nose.

I think the only thing Fox News hasn't yet accused Michael Brown of is stealing Darren Wilson's bullets. #ferguson

I wonder who plays the "famous rich guy who can relate to poor people" on the AT&T; commercials at Luke Wilson's house?

A boy meets his girlfriend's parents for the first time... they greet each other and sit down at the family table and begin to get to know each other. During the conversation, the boy feels something terrible brewing in his stomach and decides he can't hold it in anymore. he lets out a silent, but very smelly fart. The Father gets a whiff of the fart, stops mid-sentence and yells, ""Wilson!"" while he stares at the dog who is sitting under the boy's chair. ""This is great!"" the boy thought, i c…