A New York lawyer is on a business trip in Texas... ... and is on his way to a meeting in his company rental car. He's a little crunched on time so when he rolls through the stop sign ahead. A cop catches this and pulls him over. He walks up to the window and says ""License n' registration , sir."" The lawyer complies but can hear the country twang in the cops voice and figures he can outsmart the 'stupid southerner.' ""Officer, I have no idea why you pulled me over."" The officer replies ""You …

My father's Texas joke A Texan gets pulled over for speeding. The officer says, ""You got an ID?"" The Texan says, ""... about what?""

A man in Texas is driving with twenty penguins in the bed of his pickup... ...when he is stopped by a State Trooper. The trooper approaches and tells the man that he needs to take the penguins to the zoo immediately as they are non-native and not registered to the man as pets. ""Right away, officer,"" replies the man, and off he goes. The following day, the same man is driving on the same road with the same twenty penguins in the bed of his truck. This time, however, the penguins are all wearing…

Bowling Ball Delivery A semi truck driver is hired to deliver a load of bowling balls from Houston to Atlanta. He gets a bonus if he gets it there in under twenty four hours. He's speeding down the highway when he sees two black men walking with a bike. They flag him down and he pulls over. They ask him for a ride since their bike chain was broken. He asks them where they're headed. They tell him that they are headed to a small town in Louisiana. He says ""Hop in the back, that's right on my way…