Cop: Why were you speeding? Me: SHE'S IN LABOR! Cop: That's a beach ball in a wig. Me: Cop: Me: I don't think I'm the father. Cop: Get out.

In the car and passed by a cop and my 12 year old says "everyone be cool! Act normal!" Expecting that Father of the Year award any day now

Good cop: license and registration please Perp: I'm sorry was I speeding Dad Cop: hi sorry was I speeding, I'm dad.

Father O'Brien was driving home after lunch when a policeman pulled him over ... Father O'Brien was driving home after lunch when a policeman pulled him over. ""What have you been drinking?"" asked the cop. ""Only water,"" replied the priest. ""Then what's that next to you?"" said the policeman, pointing to the half-empty bottle of pinot noir in the passenger seat. ""Good Lord!"" said Father O'Brien. ""He's done it again!"" ^[[source]](http://www.nypost.com/p/news/opinion/opedcolumnists/cheers_e…