Robert called home one afternoon to see what his wife was making for dinner *""Hello?""* said a little girl's voice. *""Hi, honey, it's Daddy,""* said Robert. *""Is mommy near the phone?""* *""No, Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with uncle Frank.""* After a brief pause, he said, *""But you don't have an Uncle Frank, honey!""* *""Yes I do. He's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy!""* *""Okay, then. Here's what I want you to do. Put down the phone, run upstairs, knock on the bedroom door and s…

[kidnapper hands wife phone] "brent" BABY IM COMIN *kidnapper takes back phone but she can hear me yelling* IS THE HAM IN THE FRIDGE EXPIRED

How come when a child shouts "This is dumb" at a wedding it's considered cute, but when I do it, I'm immediately replaced by another priest?

Taught the 5yo to say "totes magotes" to annoy my husband who can't figure out why the kid keeps yelling, "COACH MY GOATS, DAD!" Nailed it.