*phone rings* Wife: Quick! Pretend I'm not in!" Me: *dresses baby up in Superman costume & duct tapes him to ceiling fan* Wife - "....""

My kid just randomly recited my wife's cell phone number that we had no idea he knew. Now we're getting fitted for suits and hitting Vegas.

Why would I want to talk to your baby? On the phone. It's a baby. If I wanted to hear random noises when I talk, I have a husband for that.

Wife: You act like a child with that phone. Me: Child? I'm a grown ass man. Wife: Let me see your phone. Me: No. *snatches phone Me: MINE