"Welcome to another meeting of Horse Club. Let's try to actually get something done today. All in favor?" Crowd: "NEIGH!" "Jesus Christ."

[cops knock on my door] "Sir?" "Nobody's home." "Who said that then?" "My dog." "Jesus Christ, well do u know when Mr Hughes will be back?"

Jesus Christ! I forgot to buy dog food last night and now my dogs are playing a Sarah McLachlan album and googling humane society.

Jesus and Moses are playing golf. After teeing off, Jesus asks Moses which club he should use to clear the water hazard and Moses says, ""Use your 4 iron"". Jesus says, ""No, Tiger Woods would use a 6 iron"". His shots goes into the water. Jesus walks out onto the water to find his ball and is seen by another golfer who says to Moses, ""Look at that guy. Who does he think he is, Jesus Christ?"" Moses says, ""He is Jesus Christ, he THINKS he's Tiger Woods.""