BREAKING: President Obama shows solidarity with victims in war-torn countries by posting another selfie with celebrities.

A guy walks in to a restroom..... and sees president Obama and president Putin at the urinal talking. The guy: what are you talking about? Obama: How we are going to start world war 3. Putin: Our idea is that we kill 50.000 Ukrainians and an it-consultant. The guy: why an it-consultant? Putin says to Obama. Ha, told you no one would care about the Ukrainians!

Barack Obama, the Pope, Hilary Clinton and a boy scout are on a plane... The plane is about to crash when they realize there are only 3 parachutes. The first passenger, President Obama said “I am the president of the United States, as much as it will haunt me for the rest of my life, I must insist I take a parachute. I have a great responsibility, being the leader of nearly 300 million people and the strongest military in the world.” The others agree and the president grabs a bag and jumps out…

[Civil servant joke] President Obama wants to know who's better: the CIA the US Marine Corps