A joke told by Slavoj Zizek at TIFF Yuri Gagarin, the first man in space, is meeting with Khrushchev immediately after his return from said expedition. He says, ""Comrade, I have some bad news. When I was up there above the clouds I saw God the angels. I guess we were wrong."" Khrushchev replies, ""Yes yes I know. It's terrible. Just don't tell anybody. It would ruin everything."" A couple months later Gagarin is in the Vatican meeting with the Pope. He tells the Pope, ""I have bad news. Up ther…

Three Nuns and Saint Peter Three little nuns were tragically killed in a car crash this past weekend. Being devout followers of the faith, their souls floated up to heaven. The three see the Pearly Gates and begin to approach the massive structure only to be stopped by Saint Peter. Saint Peter explains, ""The Boss set a new rule, in order to get into heaven, you must correctly answer a question relating to the Bible, or you will be banished to the flaming depths of hell for all eternity!"" The n…

A man is sitting in a bar staring at his drink, when another man comes along and drinks it up. ""Come on man, cheer up. Here, I'll buy you another drink."" The first man replies ""No, I've just had a really bad day today. First I woke up late because the power went off in my house so my alarm didn't go off, so I quickly rush to work badly dressed and without eating breakfast. My boss is furious because I missed an important business meeting, so he fires me. I walk back outside to the parking lot…

Meeting a genie while hiking. Three friends went out hiking one day. They came to a ledge and a genie appeared and said "" if you run and jump off the ledge and say what you would like to be, you will transform into what you say."" The first man jumps off and says ""eagle"" he immediately transforms into an eagle and flys away. The second man jumps off and yells "" millionaire"" and he lands on a pile of money. The third guy runs for the edge and just before he gets there he trips on a rock and …