*drops off box to Salvation Army* "Sir, why is this box marked W I F E?" *peels out*

I never give money to those Salvation Army people because I know they're just gonna spend it on more bells.

*knocks on donation door Me: I have a donation Salvation Army: Ma'am, once again... you cannot donate your man Me: You have stupid rules!

*sees Salvation Army bell ringer* "Here you go, buddy. Merry Christmas!" "Sir, we don't accept children." *runs away*