Three Scotsmen were sitting in a bar together. - When I die, said the old Scot, I would like one of you to pour a bottle of the best Scottish whisky over my grave. - We will do that for you, said one of the younger men. But do you mind if it passes through our kidneys first?

The Price of Dismissal An American, a Scot and a Canadian were in a terrible car accident. They were all brought to the same emergency room, but all three of them died before they arrived. Just as they were about to put the toe tag on the American, he stirred and opened his eyes. Astonished, the doctors and nurses present asked him what happened. ""Well, "" said the American, ""I remember the crash, and then there was a beautiful light, and then the Canadian and the Scot and I were standing at t…

An Englishman, a Scot, and an Irishman are all eating lunch together. The Englishman says, ""I hate bologna! If I get bologna one more time, I'm going to kill myself!"" The Scot says, ""I hate ham! If I get ham one more time, I'll kill myself, too!"" The Irishman says, ""I hate peanut butter! If I get peanut butter one more time, I'll do the same thing!"" The next day, each of them gets the same lunch as they did the day before, and killed themselves. At the funeral, their widows started talking…

King Arthur and the Witch Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighbouring kingdom The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death. The question?...What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most kn…