Prince Charles was reversing his Land Rover out of the garage when he ran over the Queen's favourite corgi. He quickly got out but it was too late: the corgi was dead, squashed to a pulp. Just then a genie popped up and said: "Your highness, I can give you one wish. What would you like?" The Prince said: "This is Mummy's favourite dog. Can you bring it back to life?" The genie examined the corgi. "I'm sorry," he said, "but this dog can't be saved. He's way beyond repair. This dog is very, very dead. I'm afraid there's nothing I can do." "But you must be able to do something," pleaded Charles. "It's Mummy's favourite." "I'm really sorry," repeated the genie, "but there's no way I can bring it back to life." "Very well," sighed Charles. "But do I still have a wish?" "Yes," said the genie. "Well, I would like you to make my new wife Camilla as beautiful as my first wife Diana was." The genie thought for a moment, then said: "Let's have another look at the dog." SALESPEOPLE My first job was selling doors, door-to-door. That's a tough job. Ding dong. 'Can I interest you in a . . . oh, shit, you've got one already, haven't you?' Bill Bailey