Three Englishman were standing at the bar when they spotted an Irishman sitting quietly in the corner. Fortified by alcohol, one of the Englishman went over to the Irishman and said loudly: "Hey, I hear your St Patrick was a drunken loser!" "Oh really?" said the Irishman. "I didn't know that." Puzzled, the Englishman walked back to his buddies and said: "I told him St Patrick was a drunken loser, but he didn't seem to care." The second Englishman said: "You don't know how to wind him up. Watch and learn." So the second Englishman walked over to the Irishman and announced: "Hey, I hear your St Patrick was lying, cheating, idiotic, low-life scum!" "Is that so?" said the Irishman. "I didn't know that." Disappointed at getting no reaction, the second Englishman returned to his buddies. "I told him St Patrick was lying, cheating, idiotic, low-life scum, but he didn't seem at all bothered. I don't understand it." The third Englishman said: "I know how to get him riled. Watch this." So the third Englishman went over to the Irishman and yelled: "Hey, I hear your St Patrick was an Englishman!" The Irishman replied: "Yeah, that's what your buddies were trying to tell me." When the 7/7 bombings happened a few years back, the city reacted in a phenomenally 'London' way. They went: 'Oh my God! There's a bomb on the Piccadilly Line. Well, I can get the Victoria Line and change at Euston.' Dara O'Briain