Ok parents who refer to their kids by age... I can play too. "22 always wants BJs before class. 39 just wants pictures for his golf buddies"

Hey girl are you my golf clubs? Because I tottaly forgot to take you out of my trunk.

Why do football players only dance when good shit happens? Just once I wanna see a QB throw an interception & do a sad, interpretive dance.

Just bumped into my old French teacher and she asked me what I'm up to now. I told her I go to the cinema and play football with my brother.

I'm amazed football players don't fumble on literally every play. One time I tripped on a curb and both of my shoes fell off.

I created the friend zone defense in basketball. You basically just compliment the other guys but never make a move.

I always keep a baseball bat under my bed in case 17 people break in and wanna play baseball

can't even imagine how many delicious recipes get exchanged during the football huddle

How to beat depression: 1) Talk to someone 2) When that person says "just cheer up," beat that person with a baseball bat.

I don't play golf because any game that includes strokes and handicaps just doesn't sound like my kind of fun.

Never accept a rap battle from a cricket unless you know more than five words that rhyme with chirp.

Waiting for everyone in this church service to bow their head in prayer so I can update my fantasy football roster.

That incessant, monotonous football is really ruining my enjoyment of the vuvuzelas.

Just once I'd like to make it through a game of mini golf without having to smash someone's windshield out with the putter

World: Hey check out this sport we made called football. America: *sips beer* Check out this other sport I just made called football.

People who say watching golf on TV is boring have obviously never listened to golf on the radio

Wait, I forget, what's the national pastime? Is it baseball or worrying about Jennifer Aniston's happiness?

What's your name? SIENNA Where you from, Sienna? MALIBU Do you like sports? GOLF You're just replying w car brands aren't you? FORD F-SERIES

Marriage Tip: If your husband is watching golf, show him you're interested by repeatedly asking "why doesn't our lawn ever look that nice?"

Does it disturb anyone else that "The Los Angeles Angels" baseball team translates directly to "The The Angels Angels"?

If you hit people hard enough with a tennis racket they turn into waffles.

Do me a faver? Look at any object near you k now imagen its a diferent thing how was youre experience? i imagened pencil is baseball

Watched golf for two hours before realizing that the TV was off.

Did you know you can take a whole nap and wake up and football will still be on?

Why is everyone so obsessed with the idea of love? If you're dying to be hurt so badly, I've got a baseball bat for that.