(Standing next to pool with a golf club and horse) Friends: Are you sure you've played water polo before?

I always keep a baseball bat under my bed. You know, in case someone breaks in and throws a ball at me.

Facebook: "Do you want to tag Jennifer in this Picture?" Me: Hmmmm. does it make her look fat? Then yes, yes I do.

"I love to collect big white basketball shoes!!!!" - someone with the opposite brain of me