(Standing next to pool with a golf club and horse) Friends: Are you sure you've played water polo before?

I always keep a baseball bat under my bed. You know, in case someone breaks in and throws a ball at me.

I don't even understand Fantasy Football. There are no Dragons, Wizards, or hot ass Elven chicks. I call bullshit.

My dad told me they once had to cancel a football season because John Madden ate all of the footballs.