My mom likes to call from baseball games just to say she can't hear me 25 times.

Was out on the golf course and shot an eagle at Hole 9. Mom doesn't believe me, but wait till she sees the eagle.

after my son won his soccer game, his teammate invited us over to celebrate. it was father, son, and the goalie host

*Maintains eye contact with the soccer mom feeding her kid organic kale chips while giving my kid a snickers bar.