My dad told me they once had to cancel a football season because John Madden ate all of the footballs.

My mom likes to call from baseball games just to say she can't hear me 25 times.

after my son won his soccer game, his teammate invited us over to celebrate. it was father, son, and the goalie host

*Maintains eye contact with the soccer mom feeding her kid organic kale chips while giving my kid a snickers bar.