My dad told me they once had to cancel a football season because John Madden ate all of the footballs.

Was out on the golf course and shot an eagle at Hole 9. Mom doesn't believe me, but wait till she sees the eagle.

after my son won his soccer game, his teammate invited us over to celebrate. it was father, son, and the goalie host

*Maintains eye contact with the soccer mom feeding her kid organic kale chips while giving my kid a snickers bar.