I'm no scientist, but harnessing the power of teen girls talking would probably solve all the world's energy woes.

I'm on Twitter because my brother got a chemistry set for christmas when he was little and I got plaid pants.

Our kitchen is starting to look like a middle school science fair

She blinded me with science! (Specifically, a botched LASIK surgery.)

I'd like to meet a failed scientist, like I do writers. "I science on the weekends and for free sometimes. I think of it more as a hobby."

Incredible Hulk Experiment-Day 13 Just woke up. Still not a Hulk. Looks like I ate all those moldy bagels for nothing. -Research Continues

(scientists naming weird spiny thing in a bush) Scientist 1: This thing sucks Scientist 2: Yeah! S1: It's hogging all the hedges! S2: Wait.

Science is tricky. Keeps you on your toes. Mineralogy? Study of minerals. Oceanology? Study of oceans. Meteorology? NOT ABOUT METEORS.

One day we'll open Twitter & it'll just say: Thanks for playing! Hope you enjoyed this social experiment. Now apologise to your loved ones.

If you accidentally drop a roll of toilet paper while sitting down, it will roll approximately 65 feet away from you. Science.

"Scientology" is a combination of "scient-," meaning "science," and "-ology," meaning "science." And it just gets stupider from there.

The pizza theorem: "Pizzas must be circular. They must be cut into triangles and put into square boxes" -Science

Scientists confirm the human body is 75% water, still unclear what the other 25% is, "spaghetti we think" says one scientist

Marty McFly had horrible parents. Sure teenage son, hang around with the weirdo scientist who lives alone and drives a windowless truck.

Scientist: we've finally taught a dog Morse Code Dog: [taps paw] Me: what did it say? Scientist: "woof"

Breaking: CNN confirms planes need fuel to fly. In other news, scientist confirm brains are not needed to work at CNN.

UK Scientist: We've engineered a new species of cyanobacteria U.S. scientist: We've made pigs in a blanket 50% piggier

Headline: World helium shortage over due to discovery of helium field. Scientist: (high voice) This new supply of helium is a game-changer

I hope there's a scientist somewhere in the world right now working on a way for Coldplay to get more whoa-oh-ohs into a 3 minute pop song.

A scientist who studies Adam's apples is called a guyneckologist.

Men simply like to adjust their junk, it's not pocket science.

Understanding women isn't rocket science. Rocket science has rules and boundaries.

[party] What exactly does BYOB mean? "Bring your own beer" Bill Nye the Science Guy slowly slides the bacteria sample back in his lab coat

Science question: can somebody please explain how tiny, tiny swimsuits make Olympians dive better?

hey it's me, the girl who just googled "chemistry alphabet" when i meant "periodic table"