Wall Jokes

[Wall Street] ME: haha Hump Day, amiright? HUMPTY DUMPTY *rolls eyes* ME: eh? *nudge* HD: Dude don't- ME: eh? *harder nudge* EH? Oh shit

Me: This is DISGUSTING! WHO PEED ON THE WALL?! 7yo: Not me. I only pee on the floor.

Me: WHO DREW ON THE WALL?! 4-year-old: 2-year-old: 4-year-old: 2-year-old: 4-year-old: The dog.

Got this one in a forward from my dad - I did not see that one coming. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD.. WELL .. . . YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE. MY NAME IS MARY , AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA ON THE WALL, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME. SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD Y…

ok, here is the joke that will change your life... once upon a time, a husband and wife were trying to concieve. They really wanted to have a baby, so they went to all these doctors, and the doctors told them it was unlikey, but they kept trying anyway... finally they got pregnant, and the wife was so excited. She took real good care of herself, she ate right, exercised, did yoga... she did everything she could to make sure the baby would be healthy... then finally, 9 months later, the day came.…

Once upon a time, a man appeared in a village and announced to the villagers that he would buy monkeys for $10 each. The villagers, knowing there were many monkeys, went to the forest and started catching them. The man bought thousands at $10 each and, as supply started to diminish, the villagers stopped their effort. He then announced that he would buy monkeys at $20 each. This renewed the villagers efforts and they started catching monkeys again. Soon, the supply diminished and people started …

Materialism A Wall Street broker parked his brand new Lamborghini on the street at the front of his office so that all of his coworkers could see it and envy him. As he was opening the door, a cab flew by, clipped the door, and then kept going. The broker sat there for a moment in shock, staring through his windshield at the remains of his door, 20 feet in front of his brand new, very expensive car. He finally snaps out of it and is livid. He gets out of the car and screams at the fleeing ca…