Floor Jokes

"OH MY GOD IS THAT GLUTEN ON THE FLOOR!?!?!" Great way to clear the checkout lines at Whole Foods.

[First date] So what do you do for a living? "I'm a florist" WHY DON'T YOU LIKE THE FLOOR? WHAT HAS IT DONE TO YOU, IS IT BECAUSE IT'S LAVA?

BOSS TELLS ME I CAN KISS MY FERRETS AT WORK, BUT NO OPEN MOUTH. I PUNCH THE FLOOR SO HARD HIS SCREEN SAVER DEACTIVATES

"Daddy will u tuck me in?:)" "Ok" *tucks him in* "Daddy sing me a song:)" "Ok" *clears throat* LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODIES H

????LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR ????LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR ????LET THE BODIES HIT THE- "Carl, you're fired. You're a horrible mortician."

Does the defense have any last words? "Yes I do your honor... THE FLOOR IS MADE OF LAVA" [Judge & jury scramble to get on top of tables]

[around campfire] ME: *grabs guitar* Hey kids how about a song? KIDS: Yeah! ME: ok *clears throat* LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR LET THE BODI

ok, here is the joke that will change your life... once upon a time, a husband and wife were trying to concieve. They really wanted to have a baby, so they went to all these doctors, and the doctors told them it was unlikey, but they kept trying anyway... finally they got pregnant, and the wife was so excited. She took real good care of herself, she ate right, exercised, did yoga... she did everything she could to make sure the baby would be healthy... then finally, 9 months later, the day came.…

So a duck walks into a bank... He waddles up to the teller and demands a big mac, fries, and a shake. ""This is a bank."" She explains. ""We don't serve food here."" The duck walks out. The next day the duck comes back and walks up to the same teller. Again he demands a big mac, fries, and a shake. Slightly aggrivated, she explains again that he won't be getting any food. The next day the duck comes back, orders a big mac, fries, and a shake. The teller is furious. ""WE DON'T SERVE FOOD HERE, TH…

Why did the lead singer of Drowning Pool lose his job at Starbucks? HE LET BISCOTTI HIT THE FLOOR