Third Soldier Jokes

Falklands Heroes Three soldiers of the Falklands Conflict saved their battalion from a minefield, and their commanding officer decided to reward them. They were waiting for their CO in his office in London when he strolled in. ""Well chaps, since this wasn't officially a war I can't give you any medals. So, I will measure the distance between any two points of your body, and give you five times that measurement in Pounds Sterling."" The first soldier decided almost immediately. ""I'll measure fr…

The wire brush One of the few genuinely funny jokes I know that I originally learned in English: During World War I, a British general is visiting an Army hospital. He shakes the hand of one soldier, who is lying in bed. "What's wrong with you, son?" "Gonorrhea, Sir!" "What is the treatment for gonorrhea in the British Army?" "The wire brush, Sir!" "What is your fondest desire?" "To recover and to serve the King and the country, Sir!" The general then turns to another soldier. "What's…

A British General and his Men A British General had sent some of his men off to fight for their country in the Falkland Island Crisis. Upon returning to England from the South American island, three soldiers that had distinguished themselves in battle were summoned to the General’s office. “Since we weren’t actually at war,” the General starts, “I can’t give out any medals. We did, however, want to let each of you know your efforts were appreciated. What the Government has decided to do is to…