Teddy Jokes

A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They go back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with sweet cuddly teddy bears. Hundreds of cute small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor. Cuddly medium-sized ones on a shelf a little higher. Huge enormous bears on the top shelf along the wall. The woman is surprised that this guy would have a collection of teddy bears, espe…

How do you start a teddy bear race ? Ready teddy go !

What should you call a bald teddy ? Fred bear !

What's a teddy bears favourite pasta ? Tagliateddy !

Teddy came thundering down the stairs much to his father's annoyance. 'Teddy' he called 'how many more times have I got to tell you to come down the stairs quietly? Now go back up and come down like a civilised human being.' There was a silence and Teddy reappeared in the front room. 'That's better' said his father. 'Now will you always come down stairs like that?' 'Suits me' said Teddy. 'I slid down the bannister.'

A man meets a gorgeous woman in a bar. They talk they connect they end up leaving together. They get back to her place and as she shows him around her apartment he notices that her bedroom is completely packed with teddy bears. Hundreds of small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor medium sized ones on a shelf a little higher and huge bears on the top shelf along the wall. The man is kind of surprised that this woman would have a collection of teddy bears especially one that's so extensi…

A man and a woman meet . . . A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect. They end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and he shows her around his apartment. She notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly Teddy Bears carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall. It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly ar…

A Sensitive Guy A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect; they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly teddy bears carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall! It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrange them…

A woman meets a man... A woman meets a gorgeous man in a bar. They talk, they connect, they end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and as he shows her around his apartment, she notices that his bedroom is completely packed with sweet cuddly teddy bears. Hundreds of cute small bears on a shelf all the way along the floor, cuddly medium-sized ones on a shelf a little higher, and huge enormous bears on the top shelf along the wall. The woman is kind of surprised that this guy wou…

A woman meets a man in a bar . . . A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect. They end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and he shows her around his apartment. She notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly Teddy Bears carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall. It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to loving…

The Lion Tamer Joke (the better version) John is walking down the street when he bumps into Teddy, an old friend he hasn't seen in a while. Then exchange pleasantries and then Teddy says he recently got a job as a lion tamer at the circus. John is surprised and blurts out, "How are you gonna be a Lion Tamer? As I recall you used to be an accountant." Teddy says the Circus people told him that the Lions know the drill and the Tamer is essentially in there as a prop. "Well, what if the lio…

What do they do at the teddy bear factory? Stuff.

When I go to parties, I always bring my teddy bear with me It's my plush one.

Classic woman meets a man . . . A woman meets a man in a bar. They talk; they connect. They end up leaving together. They get back to his place, and he shows her around his apartment. She notices that one wall of his bedroom is completely filled with soft, sweet, cuddly teddy bears. There are three shelves in the bedroom, with hundreds and hundreds of cute, cuddly Teddy Bears carefully placed in rows, covering the entire wall. It was obvious that he had taken quite some time to lovingly arrang…

People often ask what I do at the teddy bear factory. Just stuff.

Why couldn't the teddy bear smell? Because his nose was stuffed

Can someone please explain this joke? Q. What do you call a bald teddy? A. Fred bear I don't get it.

Did you know a load of hairy gay Theodore Roosevelt impersonators had a meal in the park today? It was the Teddy Bear's picnic.

Once upon a time, there was a river. The Nile River, to be exact. On one side of the river lived the rabbit, and on the other side lived the bear. One fine day, the bear was sitting on a stump, enjoying his breakfest of berries. Then he heard someone yelling at him. It was the rabbit. "Hey! Hey, Teddy, get your butt over here. I've got something to show you!" "Not now! I'm eating." "Oh come on!" said the rabbit. "It's really important." "No way." "Please. It's urgent." So the bear decided to go …