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Got an email from my school principal today. This is its content. IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from students, it will be our policy to keep all students well taught through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING. (S.H.I.T) We are attempting to give our students more S.H.I.T than other schools. If the board feels that you do not receive your fair share of S.H.I.T on the course, you will be immediately placed on the priority

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Dear employee: As a result of the reduction of money budgeted for all department areas, we are forced to cut down on our number of personnel. Under this plan, older employees will be asked to take early retirement, thus permitting the retention of younger people who represent our future. Therefore, a program to phase out older personnel by the end of the next fiscal year, via retirement, will be placed into effect immediately. This program will be known as S.L.A.P. (Severance of Late-Aged Person

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