Sergeant Jokes

drill sergeant There once was a private in the army who was in the middle of a training drill for stealth and disguise. He was all painted like a tree and blended in perfectly. The drill sergeant was walking through the forest trying to find this private, when all of a sudden the private flinched. The drill sergeant screamed at him and told him he did a terrible job. Then the private said ""Well, with all due respect, I didn't flinch when the dog peed on my leg, or when the birds took a shit in …

ANOTHER nun sat outside a bar in Ireland... Sipping from a bottle of whiskey, and quite inebriated, when the local Gard walks past. "Sister Mary", he asks "what in God's name are you doing?!" "Not to worry, sergeant. I'm trying to *hic* cure the Mother Superior's constipation." "And how is you being in this state going to help the Mother Superior with her constipation exactly?!" "Cos when she sees me like this", Sister Mary replied, "she'll be shittin a brick!"

Three men are training to be Vladimir Putin's bodyguards The training course is exhausting and incredibly challenging. On their last day of training, the instructor separates the three and and puts them in separate rooms, calling them one by one into the Presidential hallway. "Sergeant Andreyev, come into the hallway." "Yes, sir!" Andreyev marched into the hallway. "Sergeant, behind that door is President Putin. He is alone and undefended. On the table is a gun. You are to shoot him and …