Samantha Jokes

I'm usually more of a Samantha but sometimes I am such a Carrie, like when a bucket of blood got dumped on my head at prom

My buddy has a telescope but I don't think he uses it for astronomy. I asked what his favourite constellation was and he said, "Samantha".

12 yr. old daughter: My friend Samantha said she thinks you're handsome. Me: Aww. That's cute. How about her mom? Has she said anything?

Samantha from Facebook wants everyone to know she & her family are going on a cruise next week just in case you want to break into her house

A horse walks into a bar .. .. as Miranda and Samantha were already waiting, Charlotte was running late.

A Jewish priest. A Jewish priest named James teaches and prays in the local synagogue. He spends the first 70 years of his life living the best life he can while getting as close to god as possible. James knows his life is drawing to an end and he feels god wants him to do more so he asks the other members of the church what he should do. One member, a young lady named Samantha told James she had been given the same message and that she was wanting to venture into a far away town to spread the …

Samantha got married. And on the first day of their honeymoon, she and her husband had a fight. After a few hours of screaming and yelling Samantha cries and calls her mother. Samamtha: ""Ma, me and Steve had a fight."" Mother: ""Oh, my dear Samantha, don't worry. I too had a fight with your father on our honeymonn."" Samantha: ""And what did you do with the corpse?""

Decision A Man had 4 Girlfriends. Yara, Samantha, Jasmin and Lollie. One day he makes up his mind to get married and get settled. But the problem was he couldn't decide which one to marry. After pondering for couple of days taking advice from his friends and family he is still left indecisive. So he comes up his own version of test. He give each of these 4 girls $1000.00 and ask them to spend on anything they like. After few days he ask each one of them what did they do with the money? - Yara sa…

Little Johnny At school one day, Little Johnny’s teacher asks the class to use the word “contagious” in a sentence… Cindy raises her hand. “Yes, Cindy?” She answers, “I was at the dentist’s office with my mom, and she said not to play with the toys in the waiting room because the other kids were contagious.” “Very good, Cindy!” the teacher said, “Anyone else want to try?” Samantha raises her hand. “Yes, Samantha?” She answers, “My dad tells me not to yawn because then everybody else yawns. He…

A milkman is dying in the hospital He's surrounded by his two sons, his daughter, his wife, and a nurse. He turns to his family and says: "Peter, my eldest, I leave you the villas in Beverly Hills. Samantha, my beautiful daughter, to you I give the apartments in Los Angeles Plaza. Charlie, my youngest son, I see a long and bright future in you, so I leave the city center offices to you. And my dear wife, the three residential towers in downtown are all yours." The nurse hears all of this and…

Kevin took his golf very seriously – so much so that it was jeopardizing his marriage to Samantha because he was off playing golf seven days a week. In an attempt to save their crumbling marriage, she suggested that she should go to the course with him and take some lessons. "Okay," he said reluctantly, "but remember golf is a serious game. I don't want you ruining the one perfect thing in my life." So they went to the course and Samantha signed up to take a course of lessons with the local pro.…