Paddy Murphy Jokes

Poker Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary's apartment when Paddy Murphy loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue playing standing up. Michael O'Connor looks around and asks, ""Oh, me boys, someone got's to tell Paddy's wife... who will it be?"" They draw straws. Paul Gallagher picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse. ""Di…

It's Paddy's first time out of Ireland and he's on a Mediterranean cruise. His breakfast table assignment is with a Frenchman. Neither speak the other's language. The first day, the latter's first words to Paddy are ""bon appetite"", and the former responds ""Paddy Murphy."" This exact exchange happens the next day as well. The third day Paddy arrives first at the table and the French waiter who has witnessed these exchanges, says to him ""Monsieur, when he says 'bon appetite' it means 'have a g…

Murphy asked Paddy... Murphy asked Paddy, ""What ringtone have you got?"" Paddy said, ""I've never really looked, but probably light brown

Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary's apartment... ...when Paddy Murphy loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue playing standing up. Michael O'Connor looks around and asks, 'Oh, me boys, someone got's to tell Paddy's wife.. Who will it be?' They draw straws. Paul Gallagher picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse. 'D…

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy, looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling, his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he's walking with a limp "What happened to you?" asks Sean, the bartender. " Jamie O'Conner and me had a fight," says Paddy. "That little shite, O'Conner," says Sean, "He couldn't do that to you, he must have had something in his hand." "That he did," says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible lickin' he gave me …

Firefighters One night outside a small town in Southern Ireland, a fire started inside    the  local chemical plant.  In the blink of an eye, it exploded into  massive flames.  The alarm went out to all fire departments for miles  around.   When the fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All our secret formulas  are in the vault in the centre of the plant. They must be    saved. I'll  give 50,000 Euros to the fire department that …

The Irish have a way with words. Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy

Into a Belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy looking like he'd just been run over by a train. His arm is in a sling

Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary's apartment... ...when Paddy Murphy loses $500 on a single hand