Marilyn Jokes

[NSFW]A more honest retelling of John F. Kennedy's famous quote on lunar exploration. ""We choose to go to the moon, and Marilyn Monroe's bedroom, because it is easy and because I am hard."" JFK - 1961.

""stroke of midnight!!!"" On New Year's Eve, Marilyn stood up in the local pub and said that it was time to get ready. At the stroke of midnight, she wanted every husband to be standing next to the one person who made his life worth living. Well, it was kind of embarrassing. As the clock struck, the bartender was almost crushed to death.

Eric is in Hospital Who the hell is Eric ? Well,Eric is the geezer who got home late one night: Marilyn his wife was waiting for him with .... ""Where the hell have you been?"" Eric replies ""I was getting a tattoo!"" ""A tattoo? What kind of tattoo did you get?"" ""I got a hundred quid note tattooed on my willy"" he said proudly. ""What the hell were you thinking?"" she said, shaking her head in disgust. ""Why on earth would a Chartered Accountant get a hundred quid note tattooed on his willy?"…

A Farmer had three daughters who had come of the age of dating. One evening the dates arrive one by one. The first daughters date knocks on the door and says "" Hi, I am Eddy. I have come to take Betty for a spaghetti. Is she ready?"" The farmer replies ""Not yet. Come in and have a seat"". So he waits for her to get ready. The second daughters date knocks on the door and says ""Hi I am Joe, I have come to take Marilyn for a row is she ready?"" The farmer replies ""Not yet. Come in and have a se…

What ""D"" (dimension) should Marilyn Monroe's movies always be shown in ? Blon-D

Another man dies and goes to hell... Where the devil greats him and says ""You have to choose one of these rooms to spend all eternity in"" The devil leads the man down a seemingly endless hallway and opens the first door. Inside is a man being whipped across the back ""No way"" says the man, ""next room"". In the next room there is a man in 8 feet of water, just treading water, he looks awfully tired. ""I'm not a good swimmer"" he says, ""next room"". In the third room he sees Marilyn Monroe on…