Jesus Im Jokes

Every time you sing "What a Friend We Have in Jesus" I'm reminded how much I disapprove of My son's friends.

My daughter came up to me and said ""daddy when my cat died why were its legs in the air?"" I replied ""well that's so Jesus can grab it to take it to heaven."" ""That means mummy nearly died this morning!"" She said, I asked ""how?"" ""well when I looked in her bedroom she was screaming ""Jesus I'm coming!"" And if it wasn't for the postman holding her down he would have got her.""

With Jesus now! 18+ Young David came home from school one day and found his pet chicken laying on the ground with his legs pointing straight up into the sky. When his father got home, he explained that the chicken has died and his legs were pointed up to Jesus in heaven. They buried the chicken and that was that. Two weeks later his dad came home from work and David ran up to him yelling, ""Daddy, Daddy, we nearly lost Mommy today."" ""What?"" his father replied. Hope this one doesn't upset anyo…

A man and his son were walking down the street... (As told to me by my brother) ...when the boy sees a dead bird with its feet sticking up in the air. The boy says to his dad ""Daddy what happened to the bird?"" ""Well son, it's dead."" ""Why are its legs in the air?"" ""That's so Jesus can pick it up and bring it to heaven."" After a moment of thought, the boy said ""Then mommy almost died!"" The father, confused, asks what he means. ""Well, the other day I saw mommy with her legs up, screaming…

Legs up in the Air One day little Susie went into her back yard and found her dog Muffles lying dead with its legs up in the air. She asked, "Daddy, Daddy why is Muffles legs in the air?" Thinking quickly, her dad replied, "This way Jesus can come down and take Muffles to heaven easier." The next day when Susie's dad came home she ran up to him and said, "Daddy, Daddy, Mommy almost died today." Flustered, her father said, "Honey what happened?" And Susie said, "Well Mommy's legs were up in the…

Little Billy. Little Billy came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Billy said, "Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?" His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven." "Gee Dad that's great," said little Billy.…

Little Billy came home from school to see the families pet rooster dead in the front yard. Rigor mortis had set in and it was flat on its back with its legs in the air. When his Dad came home Billy said, "Dad our roosters dead and his legs are sticking in the air. Why are his legs sticking in the air?" His father thinking quickly said, "Son, that's so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven." "Gee Dad that's great," said little Billy. A few days later, when …