Id Jokes

A black man finds the ID of Leonardo Di Caprio on the ground. He takes it and goes away. Some days later he is stopped by the police while driving like crazy on a city road. They ask him his ID and, to avoid unnecessary problems, he gives them the ID he found on the ground. The officer looks at the ID and back to the man. He reads aloud: ""Name: Leonardo, last name: Di Caprio."" He looks at the driver, a bit perplexed. ""Hair: blonde, eyes: blue."" Looks at him again. Then the cop calls his coll…

Long: An underaged ginger walks into a bar... The bartender ask for his ID. The ginger stops, making a big show of reaching into his wallet and pulling out an obviously fake card. ""What do you think yah trying to pull?"" says the bartender, ""This ain't no underage drinking bar. Scram punk!"" So the ginger gets kicked out on the street when he sees a grocery store. He picked up a six-pack of beer and tries to casually purchase it, along with a bag of Cheetos. The cashier notices and says, ""Wha…

A teen got a fake ID and went to try it out. He picks out a 6-pack and walks nervously to the register. The cashier rings up the beer, ""$9.88,"" and eyes the stubble on the teens face, ""ID?"" Moment of truth; time to see if this is the second best $50 the teen ever sent to a Chinese website. The cashier takes the ID from the teen and flips it around to get a good look. ""Birthday: hmm only 22 huh?"" He slides it through the scanner and winks at the teen. ""We take extra precautions with the yo…