House She Jokes

Today Mother phoned asked me what I was doing . I said I was on Google maps and looking at her house .She asked if I could see her waving .

A teenage blonde wanted to earn some money... So she decided to hire her self out as a handy man and started canvassing the neighborhood. She went to the door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any odd jobs for her to do. ""Well you can paint my porch,"" he said. ""How much will you charge?"" ""How about $50?"" She answered. The man agreed and told her the paint she would need was in the garage. the man's wife overheard the conversation and said to her husband, ""does she realize t…

Me and my wife are getting a divorce so we are splitting the house ... She gets the inside. I get the outside.

Caring for mom Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered.. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts that they were able to give to their elderly mother. The first said: ""I built a big house for our mother."" The second said: ""I sent her a Mercedes with a driver."" The third said: ""I've got you both beat. You know how Mom enjoys the Bible and you know she can't see very well. I sent her a brown parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took twenty monks in a monastery …

I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President, what would be the first thing you would do?' She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.' Her parents beamed with pride. 'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told her. 'But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my …

A $50 Lesson I recently asked my friend's little girl what she wanted to be when she grows up. She said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, 'If you were President, what would be the first thing you would do?' She replied, 'I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people.' Her parents beamed with pride. 'Wow...what a worthy goal.' I told her. 'But you don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can com…

Three sons left home, went out on their own and prospered. Getting back together, they discussed the gifts that they were able to give to their elderly mother. The first said: "I built a big house for our mother." The second said: "I sent her a Mercedes with a driver." The third said: "I've got you both beat. You know how Mom enjoys the Bible and you know she can't see very well. I sent her a brown parrot that can recite the entire Bible. It took twenty monks in a monastery 12 years to teach…