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Hitler Jokes

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Two Jewish Men in 1944 Poland Have a Plan To Kill Hitler Back in 1944 in the Warsaw ghetto, two Jewish men have planned to try to kill Hitler. They have discovered his travel route, they know the exact time-table, and they know he will pass close by to a nearby government building at exactly 7:00 PM. So, the two men make their plans, knowing that their lives are at high risk and that they will not likely return from this endeavor. They exit the ghetto, travel in the shadow of the buildings and t

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A World War II Pun A German child was playing outside. Eventully, he was so exhausted that he went inside and asked his mother for a drink. She brings him a cup of water. After a sip, he asks ""Mother, why can't I have something sweeter?"" She replies, ""I couldn't give you anything else because our Fuhrer does not want us to have juice in our house."" Edit: If that didn't work so well for you try this revised one. Hitler was going to breakfast with his advisors. After they ordered, the waiter c

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Two Identical twins, James and Zeke (often referred to as simply J and Z by those they knew), constantly attempted to separate people's perceptions of them. One such way they achieved this was in their political views. While Zeke stood by standard the American democracy and capitalism, James was a firmly outspoken fascist, holding many of the same views as even Hitler and his associates. Once, at a dual job interview, the two were asked, ""Tell us a bit about yourselves, and what makes you diffe

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Hitler and Stalin are sitting at the bar. A patron walks up to the bar and asks the barman if that's Hitler and Stalin sitting over there. He says yes.The man goes over to Hitler and Stalin and asks what they are doing. ""We're planning world war 3"" says Stalin. ""We're going to kill 14 million Jews and 1 bike repair man"" says Hitler. ""Why the bike repair man?"" The patron asks. Hitler says to Stalin ""See? i told you no one would ask about the Jews""

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hitler one day, hitler realized he hated juice. hitler had an army. he said to his army, ""i hate juice! i want you to burn and demolish all juice!"" so the army set off. when they were back, hitler said ""well? have you demolished all the fruity juice in the world?"" the leader of the army says ""you mean.... we were supposed to demolish *FRUIT JUICE?* "" 15 minutes later, hitler says ""you mean you went on a rampage to kill anyone not christian?"" the army leader says ""yes sir."" so hitler co

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Hilter at a bar A man walks into a bar and notices Hitler sitting in the corner. The man goes up to the bartender and asks ""Hey, what's up with Hitler over there?"" The bartender replies ""Oh, he just comes in and sits there by himself. If you buy him a drink though, he'll answer one question for you."" So the man buys a drink and brings it to Hitler. He then asks ""Hitler, how many people have you killed?"" Hitler responds ""Six million Jews, and one clown"". Confused, the man brings Hitler an

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Hitler at a bar A man walks into a bar and believes to see Adolf Hitler sitting on a bar stool. The man walks up to the man, and in an unsure tone, asks: Are you Adolf Hitler. At which point the following conversation ensues: Hitler: Why yes, I am Man: I thought you were dead! Hitler: No, my friend. I have been in hiding all these years. I am slowly rebuilding my army. Soon we are going to rise up, kill three million Jews, and one clown. Man: Why kill a clown? Hitler: See!! No one cares about th

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