Helen Jokes

Way of thinking (Little Johnny) Little Johnny was at his class (Fourth Grade) during calculus. His teacher asks the class a question: -If there are 3 birds sitting on a tree and a bad hunter shoots one, how many birds will be left on the tree? Little Helen raises her hand immediately full of excitement and answers that there will be 2 birds left so her teacher says: -that is correct. Little Johnny, though, raises his hand right away full of anger and says to the teacher:-I think that none of the…

Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? You would too if your name was ""GWWAAAANNNEEEHHHAARRRR""

How did Helen Keller's mother punish her? She left a plunger in the toilet

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They rearranged the living room furniture.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? I would too if my name was NUYHAIMONBARG

Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? Wouldn't you if your name was Hhuuuurrrnnnnggg.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was ""adkwodrtrgfvnfif""

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if your name was Mweauuuuuaoooeeo

What's Helen Keller's favorite mouthwash? Jergen's lotion.

Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? You would too if you were named Aaaurrrraaaaggghh!

A Lawyer in the Family For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he'd finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap! ""Helen, why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?"" he cried. ""I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the bab…

Joe passed away. His will provided $30,000 for an elaborate funeral. As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Helen, turned to her oldest friend. ""Well, I'm sure Joe would be pleased,"" she said. ""I'm sure you're right,"" replied Jody, who lowered her voice and leaned in close. ""How much did this really cost?"" ""All of it,"" said Helen. ""Thirty thousand."" ""No!"" Jody exclaimed. ""I mean, it was very nice, but $30,000?"" Helen answered. ""The funeral was $6,500. I donated $500 to …

Scale of Justice For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he'd finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap! "Helen, why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried. "I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the baby would …

Proctology Exam A Guy goes into a proctologist's office for his first exam. The doctor told him to have a seat. In the examination room and that he would be with him in just a few minutes. When the man sat down and began observing the tools he noticed there were three items on a stand next to the exam table. A tube of K-Y jelly; A rubber glove; and A beer. When the doctor finally came in the man said, "Look Doc, I'm a little confused. This is my first exam. I know what the K-Y is for, and I…

For three years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this country inn. The last time he'd finally managed an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward to an exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn, then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap! "Helen, why didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried. "I would have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the baby would have my name!" …

“Your mother has been with us for 20 years,” said John. “Isn’t it time she got a place of her own?” “My mother?” replied Helen. “I thought she was *your* mother.”

Did you hear about the shooting at Helen Keller's house? She didn't either.

Why did Helen Keller's dog kill itself? You would too if your name was ""ARGHAGHRRAH!""

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They rearranged the furniture.

What's Helen Keller's favorite color? Corduroy.

Did you hear about the cliff in Helen Keller's backyard? Neither did she.

How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They left the plunger in the toilet.

What is Helen Keller's favorite color? Corduroy!

Why did Anne Sullivan decide on "water "for Helen Keller's first word? It was a test she could pass.

What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? Corduroy.